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Jealousy

Discussion in 'Behaviour' started by MrsTea, Aug 10, 2018.

  1. MrsTea

    MrsTea Regular Member Registered

    Hello again,

    I have just watched a video with reasons why NOT to get a parrot and one of the reasons was jealousy. The lady was saying that birds are monogamous and will see their owner as their companion and might react very jealous when you bring in a friend or new partner or child.

    Now my husband and I don't have kids, and are not planning to have any, however does anyone have experience with how it is like to bring a (conure) parrot into a household of two? Is it possible that the bird becomes friendly with both of us, or would it chose one of us and potentially pose a problem to the other?

    TIAA ! :)
     
  2. MrsTea

    MrsTea Regular Member Registered

    PS: I suppose what I am really asking is: can a conure bond with two people?
     
  3. dianaT

    dianaT Moderator Staff Member Moderator

    Difficult question to answer, so many parrots choose their favourite human....so you could end up having two parrots!
     
  4. MrsTea

    MrsTea Regular Member Registered

    Thanks, Diana. It seems like this lady is contradicting herself a bit in her video, so I suppose I have to wait and see. I told my husband he has to spend a lot of time with the bird, so it doesn't bond with only me.
     
  5. Bradders

    Bradders Parrot Power! Staff Member Moderator

    Oh I have some experience of this! African greys are well known to be one person birds. We got Ruby when she was around 15 weeks old and her first day out was to register with an avian vet. He said we could overcome this as we were worried too. Like yourself, there is just myself and my parent living in our house. First of all, routine. I’m a teacher but Ruby’s day stays the same even in the holidays. She is alone during the day with the radio. During this time, she has lots of foraging to do to keep her busy. I wrap food in paper and hide it in her cage and have been know to wrap food in her bowl too. This encourages independence. Early evening until we go to bed, she’s on her java tree in the living room with us. We just leave her to do her own thing though we talk to her loads. Sometimes she’ll fly over to sit with us, sometimes she doesn’t it’s on her terms. We were advised never to stroke her down her back or under her wings as this encourages mating behaviour. If we let her, she would choose OH as special person, he’s allowed to give her scritches
    and I’m not, well, only occasionally. She does rarely regurgitate for OH but when she does, it is not encouraged and she is returned to her tree/cage. It’s because of this, I’m convinced this is why I’m allowed to handle her and she is happy with both of us. I also think because we have encouraged independence by providing her with time alone and foraging to keep her busy, she does not have separation anxiety. She stays with our vet once a year in boarding and he always says what wonderful condition she is in and that her temperament is amazing. We just followed his advice. Birds are so complex but if you research and develop good habits then you’ll be fine.

    Disclaimer: Ruby is now six years old and all has been good, but you know how Parrots are, and who’s to say she won’t change in the future to wipe the smug grin off my face! Haha
     
  6. MrsTea

    MrsTea Regular Member Registered

    Thank you so much for your rathre valueable advice @Bradders ! We both have a routine during the day, so there will naturally be times when the bird will be alone in its cage and will be provided with distractions so it doesn't get bored. I was thinking during the times that we both are in, and once the bird has settled in, we leave it to do its own thing, too, talk to her etc. Like you do with Ruby. And then just see if it prefers one of us or if it accepts us both equally. There are people who say that conures are not a one-person parrot, others say they are, so I am rather confused and I suppose time will tell :) .

    What also worries me is how to get the bird back into its cage for sleeping.. but I will get there :) .

    The fact you leave the radio running made me smile. I want to do the same because I remember my gran always leaving her radio on when she left her budgies and canaries alone :) . They loved it, and one of the budgies even started to dance every time it heard music :) .
     
  7. dianaT

    dianaT Moderator Staff Member Moderator

    I also leave radio on and a small light too if we are out & not back before it gets dark. And when you uncover the cage of a morning slowly lift the front up and leave it like that for a while. mine get a good morning each then left like that for about 15mins or so.

    Once your birds gets used to you and if it is hand reared will be easier, it should step up and you can return to cage. Don't forget a youngster will need more rest and daytime naps (well mine still have day time naps!) One thing for sure once you have a parrot your life will never be the same again!
     
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  8. Bradders

    Bradders Parrot Power! Staff Member Moderator

    Ruby loves the Radio! She listens to Radio 2 and I’m sure she’d be a great contender for Pop Master with Ken Bruce.

    Ruby does enjoy her own space. Even now, I’m sat in the living room and she’s chatting away to herself in the dining room. As for getting birdie back in the cage, Ruby’s like a toddler. Most of the time, she’ll just step up but if she suspects we’re about to shower her then she’ll refuse. It’s so funny, she either grips the branch or pushes you away with her beak. Can take me a little while to persuade her yet OH has much more success as she likes him more! Haha
     
    MrsTea likes this.
  9. MrsTea

    MrsTea Regular Member Registered

    Thank you both! :)

    Diana, I hope the fact that a bird will change our lives forever is a good thing :) !
     
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  10. TomsMum

    TomsMum Administrator Staff Member Admin

    Yes they can bond with two people. Yes parrots have their direct mate, but they live in a flock....and there is a pecking order. If you have young bird and both share the feeding, cleaning, handling, talking to routine, there’s no reason why the bird would not”like” both of you. That’s not to say they won’t have a preference, but that they will be happy with either of you. Jealousy can come in if both humans are with the bird at the same time, in times when hormones are kicking in.
     
    Bradders likes this.
  11. Bradders

    Bradders Parrot Power! Staff Member Moderator

    There’s definitely a pecking order in our house and I’m definitely at the bottom!