Char96
Registered
Hello! Thankyou for reading this it’s going to be a long post I’m afraid but better to be detailed as I’m literally at breaking point in what else I can do
So I used to have an African grey called Milo, sweetest bird I ever had. Milo passed away last year unfortunately. Few months later an opportunity to own another African grey came up, I was crying every night missing my boy so thought I needed another little soul to give my love and care to. So we got Maximus a 16week old African grey. He was adorable, hand reared and super friendly. For the first month or so he would cuddle into us and when he learnt to fly he would fly to our hand on command. Time went on. Max started to fly loops round the room screaming, lunging and swooping at peoples heads and it got too much. He hurt my mothers head when she came to visit and our advice was to get him clipped by the vet. I feel this was our first mistake. He adapted pretty well, and we provided different stands and ladders so he could climb around the house if we didn’t physically help him up. However when he does have his first moult I would never ever clip him again it was instant regret taking away his freedom like that. It’s only myself and my husband who live here with max. Last three months(ish) he’s taken a massive disliking to me, I’d say everyday gets worse. He adores my husband. I know parrots can bond to one person but we need to teach max to love/behave for us both like he did before. My actions towards him have not changed. His routine has not changed I try to keep the same routine for him and my life revolves around him . I’m the one who gets up an hour before work to wake him up. He doesn’t scream or bite when I take him out first thing. I take him through with me to get his food and water sorted in the kitchen and get myself ready for work. When it comes to putting him back in I ask him to step up and he can see the treat awaits him if he does as he’s told. He’ll scream at me and bite hard on my hand. I firmly say NO and give him a stern look, pause then continue. When he’s back in I give him a cashew but and head off to work. When I get in I sort out his food and water again and offer him out the cage. Sometimes he comes out no bother and sometimes he’ll scream and bite so I leave him in there. He’s never home alone for more than 4 hours as sometimes my husband finishes work early but I’m always back just after 2pm each day. When he’s out the cage I try to interact and offer him toys and he’ll pay no attention to me and go off and do his own thing. Milo would always wanna be with us max is the opposite no matter how much I try lure him he’ll never stay. I’ve learnt not to compare Milo with max as I did before because I know just like dogs, no two are the same personalities. I sit on the side of the sofa closest to max and I make sure when I eat my tea I put in some more food/snack for him so we can eat together which he usually does. If max does come near me he just constantly looks at my hands as he knows I’ll try get him near me with treats and if I have none he’ll climb up his cage/or stand away from Me. My husband has tried to ignore him and leave me to try be the main figure in max’a life to try get him to warm back to me a bit but it’s not working. I used to be able to give his head a scratch in the evenings and now if I put my hand near him his eyes flash and he lunges or he’ll tilt his head and lead me into false hope that I can give him a stroke then his eyes flash and bam I get bit. I’ve tried training toys to give us a different bonding time but he just doesn’t click with any of it and gets frustrated with me. I also tried clicker training and it’s made no difference as my husband never did it so it only lasted a month of me trying it and max still not grasping when he did something good he got a click and a treat.It’s putting a stain on our relationship and really putting me down. I spend hours reading things and trying suggestions but nothing works. I alter my entire life to try make him like me and it’s not working. I don’t want to rehome him, he’s just under a year old and I would never forgive myself and feel I’ve let him down. I love him even though he hates me I want to make it work and not live with this feeling of what have I got myself into for the next 50years I can’t afford a parrot behaviourist, I’ve enquired and it’s just not an option right now. I’m really hoping someone has a suggestion gem that I’ve not come across and gives me hope that it’s a phase and he’ll eventually just come around as he gets older.
Yet again, sorry for the rant but I feel I haven’t even touched the surface
So I used to have an African grey called Milo, sweetest bird I ever had. Milo passed away last year unfortunately. Few months later an opportunity to own another African grey came up, I was crying every night missing my boy so thought I needed another little soul to give my love and care to. So we got Maximus a 16week old African grey. He was adorable, hand reared and super friendly. For the first month or so he would cuddle into us and when he learnt to fly he would fly to our hand on command. Time went on. Max started to fly loops round the room screaming, lunging and swooping at peoples heads and it got too much. He hurt my mothers head when she came to visit and our advice was to get him clipped by the vet. I feel this was our first mistake. He adapted pretty well, and we provided different stands and ladders so he could climb around the house if we didn’t physically help him up. However when he does have his first moult I would never ever clip him again it was instant regret taking away his freedom like that. It’s only myself and my husband who live here with max. Last three months(ish) he’s taken a massive disliking to me, I’d say everyday gets worse. He adores my husband. I know parrots can bond to one person but we need to teach max to love/behave for us both like he did before. My actions towards him have not changed. His routine has not changed I try to keep the same routine for him and my life revolves around him . I’m the one who gets up an hour before work to wake him up. He doesn’t scream or bite when I take him out first thing. I take him through with me to get his food and water sorted in the kitchen and get myself ready for work. When it comes to putting him back in I ask him to step up and he can see the treat awaits him if he does as he’s told. He’ll scream at me and bite hard on my hand. I firmly say NO and give him a stern look, pause then continue. When he’s back in I give him a cashew but and head off to work. When I get in I sort out his food and water again and offer him out the cage. Sometimes he comes out no bother and sometimes he’ll scream and bite so I leave him in there. He’s never home alone for more than 4 hours as sometimes my husband finishes work early but I’m always back just after 2pm each day. When he’s out the cage I try to interact and offer him toys and he’ll pay no attention to me and go off and do his own thing. Milo would always wanna be with us max is the opposite no matter how much I try lure him he’ll never stay. I’ve learnt not to compare Milo with max as I did before because I know just like dogs, no two are the same personalities. I sit on the side of the sofa closest to max and I make sure when I eat my tea I put in some more food/snack for him so we can eat together which he usually does. If max does come near me he just constantly looks at my hands as he knows I’ll try get him near me with treats and if I have none he’ll climb up his cage/or stand away from Me. My husband has tried to ignore him and leave me to try be the main figure in max’a life to try get him to warm back to me a bit but it’s not working. I used to be able to give his head a scratch in the evenings and now if I put my hand near him his eyes flash and he lunges or he’ll tilt his head and lead me into false hope that I can give him a stroke then his eyes flash and bam I get bit. I’ve tried training toys to give us a different bonding time but he just doesn’t click with any of it and gets frustrated with me. I also tried clicker training and it’s made no difference as my husband never did it so it only lasted a month of me trying it and max still not grasping when he did something good he got a click and a treat.It’s putting a stain on our relationship and really putting me down. I spend hours reading things and trying suggestions but nothing works. I alter my entire life to try make him like me and it’s not working. I don’t want to rehome him, he’s just under a year old and I would never forgive myself and feel I’ve let him down. I love him even though he hates me I want to make it work and not live with this feeling of what have I got myself into for the next 50years I can’t afford a parrot behaviourist, I’ve enquired and it’s just not an option right now. I’m really hoping someone has a suggestion gem that I’ve not come across and gives me hope that it’s a phase and he’ll eventually just come around as he gets older.
Yet again, sorry for the rant but I feel I haven’t even touched the surface